happy hellidays

i had half written a long and detailed post about how hard it is to blend a family and try to raise your kids while still putting in the upkeep work on your relationship, but i decided that the topic was more tired than i feel the week before christmas with 4 kids.  i'm tired of hearing myself kvetch about it.  and as a reader, you either already know how hard it is, or you don't...and either way you probably don't care to hear me whinge about it.  you've got your own problems, for the love of god and all that is holy!  i hear you, i hear you...

so let's just talk.  i'm tired - are you?  i'm ready for the holidays to be over, and i feel guilty about feeling that way at the same time.  do you?  did you overspend?  i did.  did some of it end up feeling obligatory rather than enjoyable like you thought it would?  i really want to see the magical world of the holidays through the eyes of my children and all that other bullshit that hallmark is slinging, but it's hard when you're tired.  i feel like we should hug at this point, and at least one of us will get a little teary.

i don't really know what my point is, except maybe that i think it's important to surround yourself with other people who are mucking through the same struggles you are.  their scenarios don't have to match up across the board for them to understand at least part of what you're feeling.  it'll make you feel better just hearing that they have been there, or ARE there.  they have kids.  they have husbands, wives and partners.  they have bills and stresses and careers.  and there they still are, trudging through it, just like you.

so if you're a reader this early on, it's more than likely i love you already.  so if nothing else this week, i'd like to remind you of how much i value you.  thank you for listening to me...i know i complain a lot.  thanks for the hugs.  thanks for letting me cry.  i couldn't do any of the hard stuff in my life without you.  i wouldn't have the strength to go on without your friendship in my life.  thanks for loving me when i'm a huge asshole.  thanks for telling me that i was being an asshole when i was - i needed to hear that.  thanks for the words of encouragement.  you may never know how much i needed them the day you gave them to me.  thanks for stumbling down the path with me.  i hope you have a seriously kick-ass holiday - you deserve it.  i love you, man!